who are yall gonna invite next, het couples that are so str8 that its “queer”?

Yeah well bi people in “het” relationships have been told they aren’t welcome to come to pride because gatekeepers see them as straight, so we’ve been there done that.

stop comparing cishet aces to biphobia, biphobia is an intracommunity issue and cishet aces dont belong to the community

Nope I won’t because aphobia is recycled biphobia as I just pointed out. Not being “queer enough” to be in the LGBT community is something bi people have had to fight against for decades, and the same shitty arguments are being trotted out against ace/aro people.

You know, I always thought it was a little dishonest whenever I saw that, “@ aces, stop comparing your experiences to bisexuals’,” because by and large it’s not bi folks saying this nor ace folks making the comparison. It was just a smokescreen.

But now here we have it, cranked up to ten. They’re knowingly and explicitly telling bi people not to talk about our own lived experiences, or the parallels we see in other marginalized groups. I guess they’ve finally realized they can’t weaponize us against each other, this is their last Hail Mary to safeguard their fragile reactionism. Well, I say “last.”

Bi people CAN and SHOULD talk about their experiences within and outside of the community. No one’s kicking bisexuals out. What people are asking is for bisexual people not to bring their opposite sex partners to pride parades, and yes in general that means a cis man + cis woman couple, the kind that’s accepted and has rights everywhere in the world?? Because yes pride is one of the few times a year where people in same-sex couples can safely be together in public so bringing your het partner there who you are in a socially accepted relationship with IS fucking insensitive. It doesn’t mean the bi person themselves isn’t allowed to go to pride, of course they can!! We’re just asking for you not to bring you cis straight partner there so you pretend your relationship is something as radical as a same-sex one. How are you all so obtuse?

Do you realize how rude you sound? You’re saying that us bi/pan people can’t bring the person we love and care for. You’re saying the only reason you people want us in our organizations and pride is because we also love people of the same sex. You’re completely missing the point of out identities. Also, how are you going to know if someone isn’t cis? I’m not cis but I present female. Are you going to check for people’s not cis cards or just bash everyone who doesn’t meet what you think a non-cis person looks like?

And suddenly this post isn’t about ace people anymore.

Look, asexual people are not heterosexual. They may be sex-positive heteroromantic, but the fact is that heterosexuality is about sexual attraction to members of the opposite sex, homosexuality is about sexual attraction to members of the same sex and asexuality is about not having sexual attraction. They may engage in sex, and they still physically respond, but the drive is not there.

I am not trying to belittle the biphobia in the queer community. And I think that bi/pan people should be able to bring their significant others to Pride, because while the A in LGBTQA does not stand for ‘ally’, allies are still important. But this post started being about ace people, and that got dropped in favour of the struggle against biphobia.

Both are problematic in similar but incredibly distinct ways, and at the end of the day, it comes down to this: PASSING AS STRAIGHT IS NOT A PRIVILEGE. Asexual people are not heterosexual just because they’re not sexually attracted to their own gender. Because they’re not sexually attracted to the opposite gender either.

We are not ‘straight’. We may be heteroromatic, biromantic, panromantic, homoromantic, but the -sexuality part of heterosexuality and homosexuality is still a part of the word. And just because someone - bi, ace, whatever - can pass as a cis het person doesn’t mean we’re ‘not queer enough’.

“Asexual people are not heterosexual just because they’re not sexually attracted to their own gender. Because they’re not sexually attracted to the opposite gender either.”

I love how gatekeepers simultaneously try to use the biphobia we experience in the community as a white knight weapon against aces, even as they say HEY YOU CAN BE BI BUT DON’T COME TO PRIDE UNLESS YOU LOOK GAY,. MMKAY? BI IS BEAUTIFUL AND STRONG WE SUPPORT U uwu uwu uwu~ reblog if u agree

Aces have been told their entire lives they are broken. It was listed as a mental illness until recently. They have faced corrective rape, and abuse, and trying to fit a mold instead of being respected for who they are–does any of this sound familiar? 

Oh, and of course, forgive me for thinking the sweeping declaration “aces are homophobic” is patently full of shit, because that’s the same tired line gatekeepers use when bisexuals don’t know their place.

As a bisexual woman with an amazing ace in her life: fuck you. It’s shitheel behavior like yours that has no place in the community. You’re hypocrites. Like, the lack of self-awareness is giving me a headache. How do you function with so much bile? Don’t try to use all bisexuals as your excuse to be assholes, either, just cite the bisexual assholes that agree with you. Because for every one you trot out as “proof” the Great Bi Hivemind agrees with you, I can trot out one that does not.

btw, the “Mother Of Pride” was a bisexual woman who had a long-term relationship with a man until her death. If she were alive today, you would fucking tell her not to show up with her partner at the event she helped bring about.

All aces belong in Pride and the community, and ignore who says otherwise.